safespots

The Freedom Programme

With September fast approaching we wanted to talk a little bit about the Freedom Programme that we will be running. The freedom programme is a 12 week rolling programme which teaches women about perpetrator behaviour, how to recognise it, acknowledging the tricks and traits of these perpetrators and how to free ourselves from experiencing this behaviour again.

This programme is not solely for women who have experienced domestic abuse, it can be very educational to any woman.

Through examination of the roles, stereotypes, myths and beliefs of both Men and Women we can educate ourselves in the minefield of Domestic Abuse. We will aim to help women make sense of what has happened and the question of “why didn’t I just leave”.

The truth is no-one can just leave and that is why the Freedom Programme exists.

Please come and join us in September by emailing info@safespots.org.uk or call 07873889637

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

ABUSE IS NOT LOVE

In late November this year, Yves Saint Laurent launched a new campaign that had nothing to do with beauty. This campaign is called ABUSE IS NOT LOVE. The beauty label has chosen to shine a spotlight on domestic abuse and we have found the campaign and its imagery very powerful.

ABUSE IS NOT LOVE draws attention to the fact that an overwhelming one in three women experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime, and its rates increased by 30 to 60 percent during the Covid-19 pandemic.

The campaign highlights 9 key warning signs of an abusive relationship and outlines that abuse can come in many forms; physical, sexual, financial or psychological. The key message of the campaign focuses on psychological as many people in abusive relationships often don’t realise they are victims of psychological abuse and coercive control

We found the imagery of this campaign really shows how psychological abuse chips away at everything a person is, until they feel they have nothing left. At Safespots we see women every day who are left feeling empty and worthless because they have been slowly ground down by a partner. Unlike physical abuse there are often no physical scars but the mental scars remain and can often take a long time to recover from.

We are pleased to see a top name brand like Yves Saint Laurent shining a light on this issue.

Platinum Status for Local Business

We are really pleased to announce that in November 2020, Cardinal Maritime became our first Platinum Sponsor by donating £1500 to the organisation. This fantastic local business asked colleagues to nominate a charity that meant something to them and Wythenshawe Safespots were one of the chosen beneficiaries.

Since the first Covid-19 lockdown in March, the organisation has supported 1249 women. Our support has included the delivery of emergency food supplies, emergency transport to refuge, practical assistance for women moving into new accommodation, emotional support and guidance, virtual sessions and signposting to other services, such as Legal Aid. The additional demand on our services required us to work differently, whilst continuing to support fully.

It is important that domestic abuse is talked about across all levels of society, as it can and does affect anybody and we are really pleased to see such a big local company recognising this and supporting us to continue our work in tackling the issue.

Pat Hawkins, Chair of the Wythenshawe Safespots Board said:

It is fantastic to see a local company supporting a charity dealing with complex issues within their community. Covid-19 has increased demand on our organisation, with more women needing support around domestic abuse as a result of lockdown and the subsequent restrictions. This donation from Cardinal Maritime will go directly to helping those women in our community who need support. We want to say a big thank you for this donation and we look forward to working with Cardinal Maritime in the future.”

Wythenshawe Safespots continues to operate a telephone support service Monday to Friday 10 – 5pm so, if you or somebody you know needs support, please get in touch on 07873889637 or email us at info@safespots.org.uk

MP Gives Powerful Account of Abuse (Watch)

During the second reading of the Domestic Abuse Bill yesterday MP Rosie Duffield gave a brave and powerful account of her own experience as a survivor of domestic abuse. Her story serves as a reminder that domestic abuse knows no boundaries and can affect people from all walks of life, backgrounds, professions and cultures.

In her moving speech, Rosie Duffield MP said

“Often we see the same images and stereotypes on TV. Housing estates, working-class families, drunk men coming home from the pub. Women surrounded by children and a sequence of shouting followed by immediate physical violence or assault.

Rosie Duffield MP

“But the soap opera scene only tends to focus on one or two aspects of a much bigger and more complex picture.

“Domestic violence has many faces and the faces of those who survive it are varied too. Sometimes there are no bruises. Abuse is very often all about control and power. It’s about making themselves feel big or biggest.”

Rosie went on to tell the story of her harrowing personal experience in support of the Domestic Abuse Bill.

A Spokesperson for Safespots said

” At Safespots we see women from all backgrounds including directors of companies, refugees and full time Mums. Anyone can find themselves in an abusive relationship and Rosie’s speech bravely highlighted that”.

Meanwhile, Former prime minister Theresa May used her first speech in the Commons since leaving number 10 to highlight the importance of domestic abuse policies. She described a new Bill about domestic abuse as a “landmark” piece of legislation. Mrs May added that she was pleased that her first Parliamentary speech since leaving Downing Street was on the topic of domestic abuse.

The new legislation has been heralded as a “once in a generation” opportunity to help victims and was introduced to the House of Commons and given its First Reading on Tuesday 16 July 2019.

  • Domestic abuse remains one of the most prevalent crimes in England and Wales. An estimated two million adults aged 16 to 59 experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2018, two-thirds of whom were women.
  • The purpose of the Bill is raise awareness and understanding of domestic abuse and its impact on victims.
  • It aims to improve the effectiveness of the justice system in providing protection for victims of domestic abuse and bringing perpetrators to justice.
  • It seeks to strengthen the support for victims of abuse provided by other statutory agencies.

However domestic abuse campaigners and grass roots organisations have said that the Bill needs to go further and be accompanied by increased funding for services after local authority funding for refuge services was cut from £31.2m in 2010 to £23.9m by 2018.

THANK YOU NATIONAL LOTTERY PLAYERS

Wythenshawe Safespots have some very exciting news!

After a year long application process we are excited to announce that the National Lottery Community Fund have awarded us five years core funding.

Our main costs, of staffing our fantastic team who support women day in day out, and keeping our drop in centre open so we are in the heart of the community when women need us, will now be covered by the National Lottery until 2024. This means all fundraising efforts and donations can be focused on providing extra services and support to women.

This will make a huge difference to local women and will ensure that this vital service will continue for at least five years.

We would like to send our heartfelt thanks on behalf of local women, our hardworking staff and trustees to everyone who plays the National Lottery for helping us to help keep women safe.

You can find out more at www.tnlcommunityfund.org.uk 

 

Northern Soul and Motown Night

Join us for an evening of Northern Soul and Motown. With an optional 70s fancy dress contest for just £2 extra on the night, boogie the night away in retro style!

With a raffle and chances to win big prizes throughout the evening, help us raise funds to help this vital charity to support local women. Event tickets are £10 each and all proceeds go to Wythenshawe Safespots.

Buy Tickets Here

 

 

LIVE MUSIC NIGHT STARRING PETE EAVERS

Wythenshawe Safespots are excited to present a night of live music from Manchester’s very own Pete Eavers on Friday 10th May 2019, 7pm at Northenden Social Club.

Pete Eavers is a singer/songwriter who has been playing in bands and as a solo artist around Manchester for more years than he would like to would admit to. For this special night, Pete’s put together an eclectic mix of classic hits from the likes of Oasis, The Drifters, Don Maclean, James, The Kinks and many more. We challenge you not to be singing along and maybe even strutting your stuff within moments…

Once we have you singing along, stay with us and show you have what it takes on the Karaoke and dance into the night!

Tickets are just £10 and the price includes entry and snacks. We will have a raffle on the night, raising funds to support survivors of domestic abuse and gender based violence from Wythenshawe and the surrounding area.

If you aren’t able to come along but would still like to donate to help Safespots with our ongoing work please visit our Just Giving Page

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Helen’s Story of Survival Makes the News

The Manchester Evening News have, this week, published the heartrending and inspirational story of one of our Safespots women:

‘Helen Hayes never imagined that she would become a victim of domestic abuse. As a ‘middle-class’ woman working as a director at blue chip firms, she said the notion had never even entered her mind.

But by the time her husband was screaming at her during a Boxing Day row about a dirty cereal bowl at their Cheshire home, she felt like she had lost herself.’

Just weeks after her husband was convicted of assaulting her and her son – who was then a child, she said:

“I want people to stop thinking ‘this will never happen to me’. It can happen,”

“Don’t be smug because it overwhelms you and it overwhelmed me.

“I thought ‘this will never happen to me. Because I’m a strong woman who has good, ‘middle-class’ jobs, a ‘middle-class’ life – all of that. I was wrong.”

Helen Hayes

In the wake of her marriage breakdown, Helen turned to the drop-in group Wythenshawe Safespots.

The campaign is led by a group of domestic abuse survivors and works to provide women with legal advice and emotional support if they are fleeing domestic violence.

Since 2016, Safespots has supported over 1,300 women who have experienced domestic abuse.

“There is nothing else like it for people like me in the area. They were the only people who listened.

“Safespots found me a paralegal with proper experience. I knew it was a drop-in centre and I could go there for help.

“We need this kind of service across the country because it’s sensible, safe and secure.”

Helen Hayes

READ MORE

Image and Editorial Credits: Manchester Evening News

This Valentines Day- Love Yourself

Valentines Day can mean different things for different people. Whether for you it is candlelit meals, chocolate hearts, roses or just another reason for the card makers to cash in, it can also be a difficult time for many.

However you feel about Valentines , we want to encourage you to use it as an opportunity to take care of yourself and remind yourself that you not only deserved to be loved, cared for and respected by others, but also by you! It sounds a bit cliche , but loving yourself and being whole as person in your own right is the best foundation for happy and healthy relationships with other people.

Loving yourself means taking good care of yourself. This Valentines day take some time, even if its just a few minutes to do something completely for yourself. Have a hot bubble bath, re-open that book you’ve been meaning to read, get yourself your favourite treat or meal to eat or go for walk. We all become so preoccupied with taking care of everyone else, we forget about the person we should love the most….ourselves.

If you have experienced, or are experiencing abuse then taking care of yourself might be about taking that step to seek some support, and finally talk to someone about what you’ve been going through. At Safespots we offer a safe and friendly place to talk. If you are ready to make steps to change things we can help. If you aren’t, we are here to listen and support you. At Safespots we run courses and individual sessions on Healthy Relationships and Confidence Building to help you work come to terms with what you have been through and rebuild, as well as working closely with other specialist support organisations. Caroline,a trained legal adviser can help you navigate the legal system of family law too.

Make this Valentines Day 2019 about you and love yourself first.

 

FGM In The News

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues in this article then please get in touch with the team at Safespots for support.

FGM has featured prominently in the news this month, but what is it and why is it hitting the news?

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is a collective term for a range of procedures which involve partial or total removal of the external female genitalia for non-medical reasons. It is sometimes referred to as female circumcision, or female genital cutting. The practice is medically unnecessary, is extremely painful and has serious health consequences, both at the time when the mutilation is carried out, and in later life.

FGM has been classified by the World Health Organization (WHO) into four major types, all of which may be relevant to the offences arising under the FGM Act 2003:

  • Type I: Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris;
  • Type II: Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora;
  • Type III: Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal:
  • Type IV: Other: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area.

FGM is mostly carried out- without anaesthetic- on girls between infancy and age 15. It is thought, according to the United Nations, that 200 million women and girls alive today have undergone some form of FGM.

The causes of female genital mutilation include a mix of cultural, religious and social factors within families and communities. It is often associated with cultural ideals of femininity and modesty, but ultimately, it is a way to control girls and women’s sexuality.

According to the World Health Organisation it can cause short term affects such as severe bleeding and problems urinating, while in the long term effects include cysts, infections, complications in childbirth and newborn deaths.

FGM has been illegal in the United Kingdom since 1985, however until this month there had never been a successful prosecution in the UK.

On February 1st a 37 year old Ugandan mother from East London was found guilty at the Old Bailey of the Genital Mutilation of her three year old, a crime that carries a prison sentence of up to 14 years.

It is only the fourth FGM prosecution brought to court in the UK. The previous cases led to acquittals.

FGM campaigner Aneeta Prem, from Freedom Charity, told the BBC convictions were hard to secure because cuttings were “hidden in secrecy”.

“People are scared to come forward, professionals are scared to come forward to report this. The fact that we have a conviction today is a really historic moment.”

Aneeta Prem

Just over a week after the historical legal case FGM hit the headlines again, this time when MP Chris Chope, who gained infamy after previously halting a bill to make upskirting a criminal offence, blocked a planned law protecting children from FGM by shouting “object!” when the bill was presented on Friday to the Commons for its second reading. The FGM proposal, called the Children Act 1989 (amendment – female genital mutilation) bill, is intended to improve the 2003 law that prohibited the practice by allowing family courts to make interim care orders about children deemed at risk, simplifying the process. Chope claims that while he might support the intent of such bills, he disagrees with the way laws are passed. Chope has obstructed a series of Bills in this way, including one to allow a women’s conference to be held in the house of commons. The move has been described by the MP who proposed the Bill as “appalling”.

The team at Wythenshawe Safespots works closely with other organisations across Manchester to support girls at risk of FGM. Please get in touch if you are affected by the this, or any other form of abuse or so called honour based violence.

Chloe’s Legacy for Safespots (press release)

Friday saw Wythenshawe Safespots domestic abuse women’s centre dedicate their one to one room to Chloe Poole. The 28 year old from Wythenshawe passed away in January 2018 from complications of Non-Hodgkins B cell lymphoma.

The dedication, held on Safespots third Birthday and a year to the week since Chloe passed away was attended by Chloe’s family, Wythenshawe Councillors, dignitaries and school children from Newall Green Primary.

A Just Giving page set up by Chloe’s friends and family has raised over £13,000 for causes Chloe was passionate about over the last year. The page says:

“Chloe dreamt of setting up her own Women’s refuge for victims of domestic violence. To provide a safe space for women to get back on their feet, provide them with support to get back into work and carve out a new safe life for themselves and their children. Each year we would like to support an already existing charity with the same values and provides similar support for victims of domestic violence.”

In November “Chloe’s Fund” donated £3000 to Wythenshawe Safespots to fund the work they do supporting survivors of domestic abuse.

“We are so incredibly grateful and humbled by this generous donation. It has given us the opportunity to expand the work we do in the centre and will directly help Wythenshawe Women when they need it the most. We felt that by refurbishing our one to one room and dedicating it to Chloe it would provide a legacy that would benefit women and their children for years to come, giving them a safe and comfortable space to receive the support they need.”

Pat Hawkins, Chair of Wythenshawe Safespots

Wythenshawe Safespots drop in centre is open from 9.30 to 2.30 on Weekdays. They help women with a range of issues, including healthy relationships, confidence building, legal support, money management and employment support. Any woman can drop in for a chat and more details are available on their website here.

Chloe’s fund continue to fund raise for causes that meant a lot to Chloe and the Just Giving page can be found here.

Clare’s Law Becomes Official

Under the new Domestic Abuse Bill, people will be able to carry out background checks to see if their partners pose a threat to them. Clare’s Law will allow everyone to look into the history of their partners or those of family and friends.

The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) is often called ‘Clare’s Law’ after the landmark case that led to it. Clare’s Law first came into being after the  murder of mum-of-one from Salford Clare Wood in 2009. Clare’s Law gives any member of the public the right to ask the police if their partner may pose a risk to them. Under Clare’s Law, a member of the public can also make enquiries into the partner of a close friend or family member.

Previously police have had discretion on whether to provide information on domestic abuse suspects since Clare’s Law was first passed in 2014.

But now everyone will get the legal right to check out their partners or those of relatives and close friends.

After a campaign led by her dad, Michael Brown, the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme was trialled in Manchester and rolled out across the country, but this week’s announcement enshrines it in law.
The draft Domestic Abuse Bill will now introduce the first ever government definition of domestic abuse so that it includes economic abuse, as well as controlling and manipulative non-physical abuse.
There will be an additional £500,000 funding specifically for male victims,with the system being overseen by the new role of Domestic Abuse Commissioner.

One woman from Wythenshawe who has used the service said it was easy to access:

“I contacted the Police on 101 as I had concerns for a member of my family. I informed the Police I wanted to make an application under Claire’s Law. There followed a lot of questions which took approximately 45 minutes to answer. Once the questions had been answered the officer informed me the application would be looked into. I received a phone call from another police officer the following day. They informed me they were satisfied that the family member should be informed of certain information they held. This information would only be given to the relative I had concerns for. The Police made arrangements to meet with my relative to discuss the information they had. She was then able to make her own decision as to whether to continue with that relationship. I found the system helpful and my relative made the right decision based on information she was given.”

How do I make an application?

It is important to remember that anyone can make an application to the police about an individual who is in an intimate relationship with another person and there is a concern that the individual, may present a risk of harm to their partner.
Contacting the police
There are many different ways you can contact the police. You can:

  • Visit a police station
  • Phone 101, the non-emergency number for the police
  • Speak to a member of the police on the street

If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone,
or it is an emergency, you should always call 999.

Domestic abuse helplines are preparing for a spike in calls after Christmas Day, explaining that the festive period can be a time of “hurt and fear” for many.

While people are preparing to spend Christmas in the arms of their families, for Women experiencing domestic abuse this time of year comes with additional pressures often leaving them treading on eggshells to avoid conflict during the festive season.

Financial stress, increased time in the home and an increase in alcohol consumption can all lead to abuse escalating over the Christmas period. Women who want to escape abuse often avoid doing so in the run up to Christmas so as not to disturb the family dynamic or worry children at this time of year.

Helen* said:

” I had wanted to tell him to leave for weeks, as things had been getting worse. He was getting more controlling and I was starting to get scared he would be violent. I didn’t want to cause a fuss before Christmas and I thought things would be ok. Between Christmas and New Year I knew I had to protect my kids, so took them to a friend then while they were out I asked him to go. He got really angry and that was when he got violent.”

Women usually try to give their children normality over Christmas and their only chance to call a helpline is when Christmas is over and their partner isn’t home or the kids have gone back to school.

The key is not to suffer in silence. Safespots will be open until the 21st of December and re-opens on Wednesday 2nd January at 9.30am,  however the National Domestic Abuse Helpline run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge 0808 2000 247 is a 24hr service, so please, if you need help, pick up the phone.

*name changed for confidentiality

https://safespots.org.uk/2018/12/587/

THANKYOU SANTA!!

Safespots’ first Christmas Grotto was a great success with over 50 children visiting Santa throughout the day on Saturday.

Thanks to generous donations, including selection packs for the children, decorations and trees from William Temple Church and a £60 individual donation it was an absolutely magical day.

One Mum said afterwards:

“My children had lots of fun and keep going on about Santa flossing, that was their highlight of the afternoon. Staff were very friendly and welcoming.  Well done to all the staff that made it possible for the children of Wythenshawe you’re all stars”.

Our heartfelt thanks go out to Mr and Mrs Claus for coming all the way from the North Pole and giving their time at such a busy time of year, and all the Elves for working so hard despite their jet lag after the long sleigh ride!

Safespots Awarded National Lottery Funding

We are pleased to announce that Safespots have been awarded £10,000 in funding from the National Lottery. It’s thanks to millions of National Lottery players that we’ve been able to apply for and be granted this funding, which comes directly from the proceeds of tickets. The money will be used to support hundreds of women from the Wythenshawe area fleeing domestic abuse with advocacy and support services.
Safespots provide a safe space in the heart of the community where women can talk, get information and take courses such as healthy relationships and money management, receive employment support and access legal first aid. Safespots is led by women who understand domestic abuse and have had similar experiences themselves, meaning there will always be an understanding ear and a friendly face.
Pat Hawkins, Chair of Safespots Board said:
“We are delighted to have received this grant, which will make such a difference to the lives of women in Wythenshawe. As a small organisation we rely on funding such as this to make the work we do possible. It says a lot for our service to be recognised by a big organisation like the National Lottery, so we would like to thank them for their support. It literally feels like we have won the lottery!”

 

Note for Press Editors: Please contact Julia at info@safespots.org.uk you require any further information or an interview.

VIP Guest Coming To Safespots

News has just arrived by Elf mail that a very special guest will be “coming to town”.

On Saturday 15th December 2018 the most generous man in the world will be flying in to Wythenshawe to visit the Girls and Boys on his good list.

Mr Claus said:

“I am very much looking forward to meeting all of the girls and boys from Wythenshawe. I have been checking my nice list and it is still being updated by the elves so there is still time to get on the list. I have been busy packing my sleigh and shining Rudolph’s nose to make an early trip out ahead of my big day of the year.”

If your child would like to come to Safespots for some Christmas crafts and to meet Santa in his secret grotto please book your FREE tickets at

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/o/wythenshawe-safespots-18059130165

One ticket required per child . Children must be accompanied by a responsible (female*) adult.
(*Safespots is a Women’s Centre and safe space. We apologise that children can only be accompanied by a female adult.)

 

Scrap The Fee Reaches House of Lords

November has been an exciting month for Safespots, as the Scrap The Fee Campaign reached the House of Lords. The campaign, started in 2016 by the Safespots Women aims to outlaw GP’s charging domestic violence victims up to £150 for legal aid referral letters. Scrap the fee has now been discussed by Lord Kennedy and has won the backing of Health Minister Lord O’Shaughnessy. We are now hearing  some GP’s voluntarily rewriting their charging policies as a result.

Sarah Judge said

” In 2016 when Tom Watson, the Deputy Leader of the Labour Party visited Safespots, our women told him about the injustice of having to pay such a large amount just to prove they had experienced abuse and to get the legal help they need. We have worked with Tom ever since and are so grateful for the way he has pushed this campaign to the highest levels of Government, but most of all, so proud that women from right here in Wythenshawe stood up, made their voices heard and are now changing the lives of tens of thousands of women across the Country.”

Women can now ask for evidence from a range of services including:

  • Domestic abuse support services such as Safespots
  • The courts
  • The police
  • A multi-agency risk assessment conference (MARAC)
  • Health professionals including a GP, Midwife, psycologist or health visitor
  • A refuge manager
  • Your bank, e.g credit card accounts, loan documents and statements showing financial control
  • Your employer or education provider
  • The provider of any benefits received

Please get in touch with Safespots if you would like more information about how you can get help with legal support and legal aid and for more information on supporting the campaign.

Retro Soul Fundraiser a huge Success

Last Friday’s Retro Soul fundraiser had a fantastic turnout with over 70 people dancing the night away to raise much needed funds. In total the evening raised £923. 87!!

Chair of the Safespots board Pat Hawkins was delighted;

“I would like to thank everyone who supported the event with their kind donations and time, particularly the Northenden Social Club for hosting the event and our amazing DJ’s. We look forward to more events like this in the future, so watch this space!”

Special thanks to

Northenden Social Club, Cheadle House Hotel, Printrocket, Adomedia, Pete Clegg, Anthony Lillis, Mike Kane MP, Libby Hill, Tommy and Carole Judge.

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