What is victim blaming language? – language used that seemingly shifts the blame for the abuse away from the perpetrator, instead placing responsibility upon the victim
This has impacted women’s experience with most organisations feeling that they are:
- Not being listened to
- Patronised
- Blamed
- Judged
EXAMPLES OF VICTIM-BLAMING LANGUAGE
- Questioning the victim’s actions, rather than focusing upon the perpetrator
- ‘Why didn’t you leave sooner?’
- ‘Did you provoke them to cause this anger?’
- ‘What were you doing to make them think you were unfaithful?’
- ‘You should have known better than to stay. How could you allow this to happen?’
- – ‘Why didn’t you approach us or report this earlier?’
- Minimisation of the victim’s experience
- ‘Are you sure it was as bad as you are relaying?’
- ‘Arguments occur all the time in relationships, can you not simply sort it out?’
- ‘Other people go through a lot worse. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that big of an issue.’
- Implying shared responsibility
- ‘Maybe you just need to figure out each other’s communication styles.’
- ‘Relationships are not meant to be easy all the time. It takes effort on the part of both partners.’
- ‘You clearly were purposefully aggravating them. You were the instigator.’
- ‘People don’t get violent for no reason. You must have done something to initiate this.’
- Highlighting the perpetrators positive traits
- ‘Maybe they are just stressed, you could try to be more understanding.’
- ‘They seem truly apologetic. You should give them another chance.’
TRAUMA INFORMED RESPONSES
- Acknowledge the trauma
- ‘I am sorry you have had to go through this. We are here to help and we will do everything we can to ensure your safety.’
- ‘Would you prefer a female officer?’ (where possible)
- Provide reassurance
- ‘We are going to ensure that you are protected and we will take your concerns seriously.’
- Respect autonomy – do not push boundaries or could lead to withdrawal
- ‘You are in control of how much you share with us. We will proceed at your pace, and you can tell us as much as you feel comfortable with.’
- ‘Please could you tell us what you can remember from the incident?’
- Explain following steps clearly
- ‘I want to explain what will happen next so you know what to expect. If you have any questions, please stop me and ask at any time.’
- Display empathy
- ‘This must be very difficult for you, it is okay to feel upset or overwhelmed. We are here to support you.’
- Avoid blaming
- ‘What happened is not your fault – our focus is entirely upon you and your safety.’
- Offer immediate support
- ‘We can connect you with local services specialising in helping people in situations such as this. Would you like us to arrange this for you?’
